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what to do in dating a girl - franklinkelsey5 - 09-18-2025
Hello, visitor!
Article about what to do in dating a girl:
11 Things To Talk About On A First Date To Spark Connection, From A Dating Coach. Kelly Gonsalves is a sex educator, relationship coach, and journalist. She received her journalism degree from Northwestern University, and her writings on sex, relationships, identity, and wellness have appeared at The Cut, Vice, Teen Vogue, Cosmopolitan, and elsewhere.
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Good conversation on a first date can sometimes be elusive. In many cases, you're talking to a total stranger that you know virtually nothing about, yet also kind of want to impress, while also sort of trying to evaluate compatibility. There's a lot happening at once! To help keep the conversation flowing, here are a few ideas for what to talk about during this first encounter. Things to talk about on a first date: Start with casual, contextual conversation. Don't feel like you have to jump right into an inquisition as soon as a first date starts. The deeper conversations will come more naturally once you've established a bit of a foundational rapport between you. When you first arrive on the date, try starting with a little bit of casual conversation drawing from the context you're in. For example, if your date picked the restaurant you're at, ask her if she's been here before, how she discovered the place, and what she likes about it. Or if you're at a bar that specializes in quirky cocktails, ask him questions about his go-to drink and share your own. You could also talk about the part of town you're in and how much time you each have spent in the area, an interesting article of clothing or jewelry your date has on, or where they came from prior to meeting up with you. From there, let the conversation flow naturally—maybe they'll bring up how hard it is to find good Thai places in the city you're in, or a good friend who brought them to this spot before, or how much they love eating outdoors. Pay attention to what comes up, ask follow-up questions, and offer up your own thoughts or stories that relate back to what your date just shared. Some people refer to this category of conversation as small talk," but the key to making it feel vibrant and interesting is actually engaging with what the other person is sharing and leaning into any opportunities for you both to start disclosing unique details about yourselves. These initial disclosures and early rapport-building will oil up the gears so that the following conversation will feel much easier and more natural. Ask what their day or week has been like. This might seem like a boilerplate question, but don't let it be. Think of this question as a way of tapping into what's actually top of mind for this person right now . When people talk about how their day or week is going, they'll usually reveal a little bit about what's spinning their wheels at present—what problems they're currently having, what dreams they're currently chasing, or what pleasures are currently lighting them up. One of the reasons first dates can feel so awkward is that the conversation can sometimes feel like an interview, with each person taking turns asking the other the basic get-to-know-you questions. To open the door to true connection and get past the canned responses, it helps to try to learn about their world as they're experiencing it presently . Asking about what's going on in their life currently is a great way to tap into that. However they respond, even if it's just an exasperated sigh and brief comment about how stressful work is, ask a follow-up question that lets them know that you actually want to hear more about it. So, how has your day been? Follow-up: Oh, what's been so stressful about it? What have you been up to this week? Follow-up: Wow, how was that experience for you? Follow-up: That sounds like a lot. Is that a usual week for you? Follow-up: It's nice that you got to spend some time with your parents. Are you close with them? Talk about what's really happening in your world. Likewise, bring up the things that are presently top of mind for you . Dating coach Clara Artschwager recommends bringing your full, messy, imperfect self into your dates. Don't worry about trying to only show off your highlights and big accomplishments—be real about what life is actually like for you these days, both the good and the bad. People generally enjoy being around those who are willing to be open and vulnerable, Artschwager points out. "When you meet someone, whether it's in a romantic context or a work context or anything, and you feel how at ease they are with themselves, that makes you feel good. That makes you want to open up, whether you realize it or not," she recently told mbg. "That's when we're like, this is a nice interaction. This is a nice conversation." Bring up something from their dating profile. If you matched through a dating app, a person's dating profile is an excellent place to look for first-date conversation topics. Before you meet up, review their profile and try to find something you can bring up when you're together.