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How to make friends with popular people - franklinkelsey5 - 09-30-2025
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Article about how to make friends with popular people:
I’ve been putting off writing this post for a long time because I haven’t quite figured out how to write it and not come off as arrogant. When I’m
Five Rules to Make Friends with Influential People. I’ve been putting off writing this post for a long time because I haven’t quite figured out how to write it and not come off as arrogant.
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When I’m stumped for a blog post idea, though, this one often swirls around in my head. So I’ll do it today and risk coming across as an ass. I’m not very famous. The vast majority of people have no idea who I am, and the vast majority of those who do know who I am would only recognize me by my nickname in The Game rather than by my face. Still, having a fairly popular blog, having been involved in pickup, and a few other highlights of my life have lifted me from being wholly unknown to being a tiny bit well known. This puts me in an interesting position: my attention is solicited by more people than I can give it to, yet I’m not quite famous enough that the people whose attention I solicit know who I am. To simplify the task of writing this post, I’m going to refer to people as ‘famous people’. By that I mean people who are influential or visible enough that they have more requests for their attention than they can reasonably grant. By this definition, Jay-Z is famous, Randall Munroe (the guy who draws xkcd) is famous, and I’m famous. There are dozens of other definitions of the word ‘famous’, most of which would exclude me, and some of which would exclude Randall. So I use the word here as a shortcut, not as a definitive title. With that out of the way: today I’m going to talk about how to most effectively meet famous people. Wanting to meet famous people is sort of like masturbating: almost everyone does it, but no one really likes to talk about it. We could have a conversation about whether it’s “okay” to try to meet famous people, but since that would be a waste of time, I’m going to skip over it by saying that I’ve had the pleasure of making friends with a lot of famous people, it has been worthwhile, and thus there’s some value in helping other people do it. The goal, by the way, is to actually have some meaningful relationship with the person you want to meet. It’s not to stand next to them long enough to have your picture taken. A benchmark might be whether or not that person has something meaningful to say about you a month after you last saw them. The guy in the picture has been long forgotten by then. The logistics for meeting famous people have never been better. It’s easy to find an email address for almost anyone, and anyone who doesn’t have a public email address has a twitter account. All that remains is the method to employ, which I’ll share as a series of rules. Rule #1: Don’t Ask for Anything. I put this rule first to emphasize how important it is. Understand that the benefit of forming a relationship with a famous person is NOT that they’re going to be your big break, or that they’re going to use their influence to help you. Hoping for this is both extremely rude and totally ineffective. Think about it: this person barely has time to read your email, and you’re going to use that small sliver of time to try to get something from them? A better reason to get to know famous people is that they tend to be interesting people. Accomplishment isn’t the only road to fame, but it’s definitely a well traveled one. Your reward for making friends with a famous person isn’t that you get to piggyback off their accomplishment, but rather that you benefit from interactions with the person behind the accomplishment. The famous people I know are all smart people who you can count on to serve as the other side of a worthwhile conversation. These interactions enrich you and inspire you to accomplish things independently. A rich friend of mine once told me that I was one of only two people he knew who have never tried to get money from him. My guess is that most of my famous friends would also say that I’m one of few people who haven’t tried to leverage their fame. Rule #2: Give Something. In a world where everyone is trying to take from others, the best way to stand out is to be a giver. It shows a sensitivity to the receiver’s situation, and allows them to drop their guard. This dropping of the guard must be recognized and appreciated, though: you can’t just give something and then ask for something in return. That’s scammy. A good rule of thumb is that if you have an idea of what you want from someone in your head when you meet them, you’re doing things wrong. Be looking for things you can do for others. Nine months ago I got an email from a guy named Carlos Marti. He offered to translate Life Nomadic into Spanish. I read the email with great interest, but didn’t reply immediately. A week later he emailed again saying that he had already translated the first chapter. He also made it clear in his emails that the benefit he was hoping to receive was to use the work to build his reputation as a translator.
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