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How do you meet guys - franklinkelsey5 - 11-26-2025
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Article about how do you meet guys:
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How Do You Meet Guys? Ah yes – the riddle of the universe seems to be: How do you meet great guys? Now, of course, when I say how do you meet a great guy, I’m not really saying HOW you do it.
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How Do You Meet Guys? Ah yes – the riddle of the universe seems to be: How do you meet great guys? Now, of course, when I say how do you meet a great guy, I’m not really saying HOW you do it. We all know how it’s done, right? You go out, you find a place where there are guys and you let him approach you, you flirt, you talk, and all that cool stuff. I’m going to talk about more about the whole flirting process with you, but when I really talk about how to meet a great guy – I’m really talking about where to GO to meet guys. In the perfect scenario, you’re going to the places where there are a ton of guys, and – you hope – they’re going to walk over and talk to you . They’ll do the work of chatting you up. They’re going to initiate in some way so that you can attract the kind of guy you want. Now, the problem with this approach is, of course, that if you just go anywhere to where there are guys, you’re going to end up with the kind of guy that goes to that kind of place. And you might do this without thinking about the qualities and the characteristics of the guys that go to certain places, like singles bars, for instance. What kind of guy goes there? Well, pretty much EVERY kind of guy goes to a singles bar. Which means you’re spinning a roulette wheel and hoping to come up with a number that matches you. Unfortunately, luck will probably not favor you in this particular situation. Sure, you’ll meet a guy … but will he match your criteria for a good boyfriend ? Will he have the qualities you’re looking for? It’s a complete luck of the draw . And, on the first try, it’s very doubtful you’ll score a jackpot. So you want to start by assessing what it is you’re looking for in a man. I don’t mean in the usual corny, cheesy way that every dating adviser tells you, when they say: “Make a list of all the criteria for the man that you want to find. Once you’ve established that criteria, you should judge them on a scale of one to ten. What is most important to you, and least. Then – and only then – should you go and start looking for your man.” Well, let’s be realistic here. That’s probably not going to happen. Very few people go through that effort. You’ve heard that advice before, but so few really do that exercise. Ok, I did very early on. Yes, I know I’m a bit of a freak. This is Carlos “The Freak” Cavallo here to tell you that I did, in fact, go through that exercise. And I do highly recommend it. Yes, I don’t care how cliché it is, you should be doing it. But still, I realize that most people typically keep this list of criteria for their soulmate very vague. It’s basically in the back of their head somewhere in terms that are more gut feel than concrete. Now, the problem is that if you just leave it in that vague, undefined state of: “I kind of know the kind of guy I want.” “Uhm, yeah, I know who he is. Sorta.” “I know what he looks like… generally.” “I know what his hobbies are.” But you never really sit down to make a list. And by never really pinning it down, it allows you to modify, distort, and change your list to match whoever it is you just happen to be dating at that time. Very often, we make an emotional distortion about the person we are really looking for to make them match the person we are with. Typically, this is much more of the case with women that I’ve coached than it has been with men. So take the time, sit down, at least write down a couple of things you’re looking for in concrete terms . Now, there is a practical side to this. By writing it down and figuring out what those things are, you can now match it up to the environment where you’re likely to meet that guy. You could sit around and wait for a few good guys to come along and sweep you off your feet, hoping that knight in shining armor is going to show up like a prince. Hoping he’ll whisk you into his carriage and off into the sunset. That’s the subconscious hope that’s going through a lot of people’s heads. Many women still harbor this secret dream, but you can’t afford to. If you’re going to find the guy you want , you’re going to have to put in a little effort and a little bit of conscious thought about how to find him. So get that list of criteria and you’ll be surprised how it helps steer destiny your way. Here’s a little exercise that’s really helpful: Go to your local bookstore . I want you to go to the magazine section. Go to the huge wall of every imaginable magazine of every imaginable interest imaginable. I want you to take that list of criteria that you’ve got and see which magazines on the shelf match up with that kind of guy. Once you’ve done that, take a look through those magazines. Make a stack of them and put them on a bench. That’s right, Barnes & Noble won’t mind. They’ve got people they’ve hired full time to go and put those back after you’ve gone through and disrupted their organization system. Take that stack of magazines and go through them and look at the advertisements in them. Look at the articles in them, especially look at the advertisements , because what the advertisements are going to tell you is where you can expect to find that kind of guy . That’s right. These magazines have done all your dating research for you! They know what these guys want, what they look for, what they read, what they eat, where they exercise, what kind of cars they buy, what kind of shows they watch, and what kind of games they play. All that stuff, they figured it out so they could advertise to them. Just pick up a few of the magazines that you imagine the guy you want reading. “Oh, he eats healthy food. Well, I better go over and hang out at the Whole Food store for a few hours some time on the weekend.” “Oh, he’s into adventure sports. Well, maybe I should go over to the rock climbing gym and take a few lessons.” You can see it’s not that difficult to figure out the demographic of a guy you want and get a good idea what is he’s into. You’re going to get a much more intelligent cross-section and understanding of the guy that you want by doing it this way. It really is a kind of ninja tactic, if you will, for meeting guys, and a lot of women, actually most women, don’t know this technique exists. Frankly, most women have never even picked up a men’s magazine to figure out what interests us. You’ll be amazed at the ideas that will come to you just paging through them. Not only that, but you’ll be getting a keen insight into men in general. I recommend this as simply an exercise for many of my coaching clients, and I’m always fascinated by their amazement. “I had no idea,” Loraine said to me. She had a stack of Men’s Health and some Esquires. All this time I thought it was just “dumb guy stuff,” but I finally got how important a man’s priorities are to him. And that’s more than I hoped for her, but it’s something I know you can share, too… Go dig in and discover what kind of secrets about the male mind are waiting for you between the pages of those men’s magazines . I think you’ll be surprised. And you’ll come away with quite a few new ideas as to where you can go to find them as well.
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