11-09-2025, 08:51 AM
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Artikel over date a mate:
| Psychology Today
What makes two people pick one another from among all available candidates? Psychology studies can answer the question with considerable success. Laws of Attraction: How Do We Select a Life Partner?
Klik hier voor Date a mate
What we know, and don’t know, about the process of mate selection. Share on Bluesky. THE BASICS. The Science of Mating Take our Romantic Personality Test Find a therapist near me. Key points. Women prefer emotional stability to an attractive appearance, and they prefer intelligence to the desire to have children. Competent people—those who are intelligent and socially skilled—are considered more attractive. Most people will marry someone who lives within walking or driving distance. Most of us seek a partner, for life or at least for a while. But how do we choose? After all, we meet hundreds, even thousands, of people in the course of our daily lives. What makes two people pick one another from among the myriad available candidates? Psychological science has long been trying to answer this question, and with considerable success. Two main theories have guided scientific thinking on the subject. First is evolutionary theory, which claims that behavioral tendencies, physical characteristics, and personality features that promote our chances to survive and reproduce become, by that virtue, desirable to us. In addition, biological and anatomical differences between organisms will dictate different optimal solutions to the same problem. For example, if two animals, one with nimble feet and the other with strong wings, encounter a hungry predator, how will they deal with the survival threat? Most likely, the first animal will run away and the second will fly off. Likewise, the evolutionary approach predicts that the biological and anatomical differences between men and women will result in different preferences for partner selection. For example, human biology dictates that women need help and protection during pregnancy, and that their fertility is time-limited. Therefore, it makes sense that men who can provide protection will be deemed attractive to women, and that young—and hence fertile—women will be attractive to men. Indeed, studies show that when it comes to long-term relationships, women overall emphasize the importance of status parameters while men find female youth highly attractive. On the other hand, social role theory," developed by the American psychologist Alice Eagly, argues that social—rather than biological—processes dictate our social choices. According to this argument, the mate selection rules are dictated by the roles that women and men occupy in society. Thus, people's preferences in the search for a mate are expected to shift as social roles and norms shift. For example, women are attracted to men with power and money because society limits their own ability to gain power and money. If, tomorrow, most positions of power and money go to women, then a man’s status and wealth will matter much less to women, while male beauty, youth, and stamina may come to matter more. Source: pixabay.com. Indeed, studies over the past 50 years show some fundamental changes in mate preferences among both men and women. For example, since maintaining a comfortable life on one salary has become difficult in Western countries, and since most women in those countries work and earn income, both men and women currently put more emphasis than before on the partner’s economic and social status when choosing a life partner. Matters of housework, such as cooking and cleaning capabilities, on the other hands, are no longer considered important criteria for selecting a partner in both sexes. These changes indicate that the culture has an impact on the qualities we deem attractive. Motivations be what they may, studies from the 1940s to the present point to the existence of several well-supported "laws of attraction" that govern the general process of choosing a long-term mate: 1. Exposure and Familiarity. In general, we grow to like those around us and those with whom we have frequent contact. The more time we spend with someone, the greater the chances that we'll like, accept, and fall in love with him or her. Now granted, we all know someone with whom increased interaction causes increased frustration and resentment, but that is the exception that proves the rule. Simple exposure is one reason why many a romance blooms at work or at the university. Daily contact over time turns strangers into friends, and more. 2. Physical Attraction. Physical beauty is an important life advantage, and it is of fundamental significance in the mating game. Bottom line: You do not want to spend your life with someone you find physically repellent. Physical attraction, it turns out, obeys the laws of the market: The best goods cost more, and so buyers do not get what they want but what they can afford. Ultimately, the rich drive the Mercedes, the middle class drives the Toyota and the poor ride the bus. Similarly with physical attractiveness, beautiful people end up with others who are very beautiful, average looking with average looking, etc. THE BASICS. The Science of Mating Take our Romantic Personality Test Find a therapist near me. 3. Personality and Character. Research on the personality factors that attract us to others (and others to us) has identified two personality factors that are considered across the board desirable: competence and warmth . Competent people, that is to say intelligent and socially skilled, are considered more attractive. Kind people with a warm personality are also more attractive. Warm and wise is a winning pair in the mate selection tournament. 4. Proximity. Most of us will marry someone who lives within walking or driving distance. We are unlikely to persist in a relationship or get married to someone who’s a transatlantic flight away. The great poet Yehuda Amichai wrote, "Advice for good love: Don't love those from far away. Take for yourself one from nearby. The way a sensible house will take local stones for its building.” And the poet was right—most of us choose from the nearby selection. Long-distance relationships are more difficult to nurture, and they survive much less often. Mating Essential Reads. 5. Similarity. This is without a doubt the most powerful finding in this area. We are drawn to people who are like us. Christians will appeal to other Christians, educated people are drawn to other educated people, leftists love leftists, extroverts love extroverts, etc. On almost every parameter of background, personality, values, and experience, we prefer someone who has a lot in common with us over someone who is totally different from us, and also over someone who "completes" or complements us. The ocean wants the ocean, not the beach, and not the boat. One reason for this preference is that it’s easier for us to communicate, understand, know, and trust someone who speaks our language, gets our culture, shares our values, or believes in our God. The second reason is that loving someone similar to us amounts, psychologically, to killing two birds with one stone: He’s wonderful, and he’s just like me, therefore, I'm wonderful! And who does not want to feel wonderful? How We Decide. Several years ago, in an attempt to refine our understanding of the forces that shape mate selection, American researchers Todd Shackelford, David Schmitt, and David Buss analyzed the responses of more than 9,000 women and men from 37 countries to a questionnaire about their preferences regarding potential life partners. The researchers used a technique called "principal components analysis." This technique seeks to reduce a wide universe of data into a small number of basic underlying factors. For example, millions of cars travel on the roads all the time, going here and there. But all this commotion can be reduced to two basic components: direction and speed. These are the only factors controlled by the driver, and all the driving being done can be explained by some combination of these two factors alone. The researchers identified four universal components underlying the process of mate selection. Each of these four components amounts to an internal negotiation we perform when choosing a romantic partner. Here are the four components, in order of importance. 1. Love vs. Status/Resources. When choosing a partner, we frequently engage in internal negotiations whereby the value of romantic love is pitted against the value of social status and economic security. If the love is strong, we may sacrifice security or economic status. If the potential partner’s status is high, we may compromise regarding the intensity of our romantic feelings. 2. Dependable/Stable vs. Good Looks/Health. When choosing a partner, we tend to compromise regarding emotional stability if the potential partner is very attractive physically.
Date a mate
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Mate en date
Mate and date
Artikel over date a mate:
| Psychology Today
What makes two people pick one another from among all available candidates? Psychology studies can answer the question with considerable success. Laws of Attraction: How Do We Select a Life Partner?
Klik hier voor Date a mate
What we know, and don’t know, about the process of mate selection. Share on Bluesky. THE BASICS. The Science of Mating Take our Romantic Personality Test Find a therapist near me. Key points. Women prefer emotional stability to an attractive appearance, and they prefer intelligence to the desire to have children. Competent people—those who are intelligent and socially skilled—are considered more attractive. Most people will marry someone who lives within walking or driving distance. Most of us seek a partner, for life or at least for a while. But how do we choose? After all, we meet hundreds, even thousands, of people in the course of our daily lives. What makes two people pick one another from among the myriad available candidates? Psychological science has long been trying to answer this question, and with considerable success. Two main theories have guided scientific thinking on the subject. First is evolutionary theory, which claims that behavioral tendencies, physical characteristics, and personality features that promote our chances to survive and reproduce become, by that virtue, desirable to us. In addition, biological and anatomical differences between organisms will dictate different optimal solutions to the same problem. For example, if two animals, one with nimble feet and the other with strong wings, encounter a hungry predator, how will they deal with the survival threat? Most likely, the first animal will run away and the second will fly off. Likewise, the evolutionary approach predicts that the biological and anatomical differences between men and women will result in different preferences for partner selection. For example, human biology dictates that women need help and protection during pregnancy, and that their fertility is time-limited. Therefore, it makes sense that men who can provide protection will be deemed attractive to women, and that young—and hence fertile—women will be attractive to men. Indeed, studies show that when it comes to long-term relationships, women overall emphasize the importance of status parameters while men find female youth highly attractive. On the other hand, social role theory," developed by the American psychologist Alice Eagly, argues that social—rather than biological—processes dictate our social choices. According to this argument, the mate selection rules are dictated by the roles that women and men occupy in society. Thus, people's preferences in the search for a mate are expected to shift as social roles and norms shift. For example, women are attracted to men with power and money because society limits their own ability to gain power and money. If, tomorrow, most positions of power and money go to women, then a man’s status and wealth will matter much less to women, while male beauty, youth, and stamina may come to matter more. Source: pixabay.com. Indeed, studies over the past 50 years show some fundamental changes in mate preferences among both men and women. For example, since maintaining a comfortable life on one salary has become difficult in Western countries, and since most women in those countries work and earn income, both men and women currently put more emphasis than before on the partner’s economic and social status when choosing a life partner. Matters of housework, such as cooking and cleaning capabilities, on the other hands, are no longer considered important criteria for selecting a partner in both sexes. These changes indicate that the culture has an impact on the qualities we deem attractive. Motivations be what they may, studies from the 1940s to the present point to the existence of several well-supported "laws of attraction" that govern the general process of choosing a long-term mate: 1. Exposure and Familiarity. In general, we grow to like those around us and those with whom we have frequent contact. The more time we spend with someone, the greater the chances that we'll like, accept, and fall in love with him or her. Now granted, we all know someone with whom increased interaction causes increased frustration and resentment, but that is the exception that proves the rule. Simple exposure is one reason why many a romance blooms at work or at the university. Daily contact over time turns strangers into friends, and more. 2. Physical Attraction. Physical beauty is an important life advantage, and it is of fundamental significance in the mating game. Bottom line: You do not want to spend your life with someone you find physically repellent. Physical attraction, it turns out, obeys the laws of the market: The best goods cost more, and so buyers do not get what they want but what they can afford. Ultimately, the rich drive the Mercedes, the middle class drives the Toyota and the poor ride the bus. Similarly with physical attractiveness, beautiful people end up with others who are very beautiful, average looking with average looking, etc. THE BASICS. The Science of Mating Take our Romantic Personality Test Find a therapist near me. 3. Personality and Character. Research on the personality factors that attract us to others (and others to us) has identified two personality factors that are considered across the board desirable: competence and warmth . Competent people, that is to say intelligent and socially skilled, are considered more attractive. Kind people with a warm personality are also more attractive. Warm and wise is a winning pair in the mate selection tournament. 4. Proximity. Most of us will marry someone who lives within walking or driving distance. We are unlikely to persist in a relationship or get married to someone who’s a transatlantic flight away. The great poet Yehuda Amichai wrote, "Advice for good love: Don't love those from far away. Take for yourself one from nearby. The way a sensible house will take local stones for its building.” And the poet was right—most of us choose from the nearby selection. Long-distance relationships are more difficult to nurture, and they survive much less often. Mating Essential Reads. 5. Similarity. This is without a doubt the most powerful finding in this area. We are drawn to people who are like us. Christians will appeal to other Christians, educated people are drawn to other educated people, leftists love leftists, extroverts love extroverts, etc. On almost every parameter of background, personality, values, and experience, we prefer someone who has a lot in common with us over someone who is totally different from us, and also over someone who "completes" or complements us. The ocean wants the ocean, not the beach, and not the boat. One reason for this preference is that it’s easier for us to communicate, understand, know, and trust someone who speaks our language, gets our culture, shares our values, or believes in our God. The second reason is that loving someone similar to us amounts, psychologically, to killing two birds with one stone: He’s wonderful, and he’s just like me, therefore, I'm wonderful! And who does not want to feel wonderful? How We Decide. Several years ago, in an attempt to refine our understanding of the forces that shape mate selection, American researchers Todd Shackelford, David Schmitt, and David Buss analyzed the responses of more than 9,000 women and men from 37 countries to a questionnaire about their preferences regarding potential life partners. The researchers used a technique called "principal components analysis." This technique seeks to reduce a wide universe of data into a small number of basic underlying factors. For example, millions of cars travel on the roads all the time, going here and there. But all this commotion can be reduced to two basic components: direction and speed. These are the only factors controlled by the driver, and all the driving being done can be explained by some combination of these two factors alone. The researchers identified four universal components underlying the process of mate selection. Each of these four components amounts to an internal negotiation we perform when choosing a romantic partner. Here are the four components, in order of importance. 1. Love vs. Status/Resources. When choosing a partner, we frequently engage in internal negotiations whereby the value of romantic love is pitted against the value of social status and economic security. If the love is strong, we may sacrifice security or economic status. If the potential partner’s status is high, we may compromise regarding the intensity of our romantic feelings. 2. Dependable/Stable vs. Good Looks/Health. When choosing a partner, we tend to compromise regarding emotional stability if the potential partner is very attractive physically.
Date a mate
Mate & date
Mate en date
Mate and date