10-08-2025, 02:08 PM
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Article about lonely women looking for men:
We explore the challenges of modern male friendships
The Uncomfortable Truth about Male Loneliness. A few years ago, four of my male friends and I spontaneously organised a trip to the Peak District. None of us is exactly Bear Grylls, but we packed some hiking boots, emptied Sainsbury&rsquo,s and committed to 48 hours in the relative wilderness of Derbyshire.
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I can&rsquo,t quite remember how we came up with idea, but we obviously felt that spending a weekend in a lonely, rural cottage would be an important thing to do. Something fascinating happened on that trip, though the schedule was pretty mundane. We spent most of the time drinking and gently humiliating each other, as you might expect. There was a failed attempt to cook a beef Wellington and an extremely ill-judged hike that ended with an unfortunate trespassing incident. But that wasn&rsquo,t the extent of things. Though we had all been good friends since university, we had never been away together. It was liberating to leave London and deposit ourselves on a misty, northern moor. As five men sitting around a fireplace in the middle of nowhere, we somehow felt freer. Embarrassing concerns and old grudges were released from ancient resting places. We were able to examine our souls. I stayed up all night with one mate, discussing how we felt a little trapped by our lives, which had become prematurely constrained. I wanted to be a writer and foreign correspondent but found myself chained to an editorial desk job. He had spent several years working in finance but yearned to do something more fulfilling. It was one of those rare conversations I&rsquo,ve had that permanently impressed itself upon my consciousness. I&rsquo,ll never forget its power &ndash, nor the extraordinary impact that being away with a group of close male friends can have, creating an atmosphere that was at once fairly savage and deeply comfortable. This trip, I realised a few months later, was the antithesis of loneliness. By then, though, I&rsquo,d moved to New York, having obtained the coveted correspondent role. My life swung violently from one pole to the other &ndash, London, surrounded very old friends, to Manhattan, surrounded by strangers. I was single and almost friendless. For the first time in my life, I was truly lonely. So lonely that I began to crave the perfunctory smile of the waitress at my local diner. Each morning, I would look forward to the familiar nod of a corner shop owner who sold me the New York Times . I also developed some strange habits. Long, nocturnal walks through the city and strange, pornographic meanderings on my laptop. At times, I took masochistic pleasure in feeling so isolated, letting the city wash over my sense of self, feeling like an extra in an Edward Hopper painting. But mostly it was just miserable. My expectations of New York &ndash, the people I&rsquo,d meet, the conversations I&rsquo,d have &ndash, were enormous. So much of the city&rsquo,s televisual myth revolves around friendships: Girls , Seinfeld , Sex and the City and, of course, Friends . But where was my devoted group of hilarious, dysfunctional pals to help me out of second gear? Human Needs. Loneliness is often compared to hunger. It's a lack of emotional sustenance, the physical pleasure of being in the company of someone who cares about you. But urban isolation is its own type of starvation, and New York is perhaps the loneliest place to be lonely. I&rsquo,d walk through SoHo or the East Village on a Saturday morning, marvelling at how busy and engaged everyone seemed to be. How did they all seem to know each other? Why didn&rsquo,t they want to know me? Loneliness feels a lot like depression, though the two are not the same. My apartment in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, overlooks the city&rsquo,s shimmering panorama. It is one of the world&rsquo,s most thrilling views &ndash, unless you are feeling lonely. Then the lights mock you, each twinkle a symbol of people connecting with one another, drinking, laughing, kissing. Everyone except me. Loneliness also feels a lot like depression, though the two are not the same. One study by the University of California, San Francisco, found that the majority of those who report feeling lonely are not clinically depressed, though there are overlaps. As for me, I had no chemical or pathological reason to be unhappy during those six months in New York. I was like a computer that had been unplugged from the internet. I just needed to reconnect. I needed friends. This sensation diminished over time. I found a girlfriend, and I made enough friends to get by. I'm happy again. But the experience got me interested in the subject of loneliness, so I began to read and write about it. I read Olivia Laing&rsquo,s The Lonely City and Sebastian Junger&rsquo,s Tribe . I delved into Karl Ove Knausgaard&rsquo,s My Struggle , through which a wide seam of loneliness and disconnection runs. I quickly realised I wasn&rsquo,t alone. Millions of others were as lonely as I had been &ndash, many of them in the largest, most thrilling cities in the world, struggling with lives of outward success and inner desperation. I also realised there was an element of my predicament that had been quite specifically male. Loneliness isn&rsquo,t gendered, but men in particular tend to struggle to express deep feelings and form meaningful connections. Many of us find it easier to talk about football or politics than to admit to suffering from a low sex drive or feeling undervalued at work. We don't know who to tell these things, or how to say them. This is why some men flock obsessively to secular evangelists such as Joe Rogan, Jordan Peterson and Sam Harris, who fill the fraternal vacuum with rigorous examinations of the male psyche and spread their gospel through podcasts and YouTube. The Boys&rsquo, Club. Men aren&rsquo,t good at talking to each other, or asking for help. This may be a cliché,, but it's true. Personally, I would rather walk around lost for half an hour than risk looking incompetent by asking for directions.
Lonely women seeking men
Lonely women looking for men
Article about lonely women looking for men:
We explore the challenges of modern male friendships
The Uncomfortable Truth about Male Loneliness. A few years ago, four of my male friends and I spontaneously organised a trip to the Peak District. None of us is exactly Bear Grylls, but we packed some hiking boots, emptied Sainsbury&rsquo,s and committed to 48 hours in the relative wilderness of Derbyshire.
>> ENTER THE SITE <<
I can&rsquo,t quite remember how we came up with idea, but we obviously felt that spending a weekend in a lonely, rural cottage would be an important thing to do. Something fascinating happened on that trip, though the schedule was pretty mundane. We spent most of the time drinking and gently humiliating each other, as you might expect. There was a failed attempt to cook a beef Wellington and an extremely ill-judged hike that ended with an unfortunate trespassing incident. But that wasn&rsquo,t the extent of things. Though we had all been good friends since university, we had never been away together. It was liberating to leave London and deposit ourselves on a misty, northern moor. As five men sitting around a fireplace in the middle of nowhere, we somehow felt freer. Embarrassing concerns and old grudges were released from ancient resting places. We were able to examine our souls. I stayed up all night with one mate, discussing how we felt a little trapped by our lives, which had become prematurely constrained. I wanted to be a writer and foreign correspondent but found myself chained to an editorial desk job. He had spent several years working in finance but yearned to do something more fulfilling. It was one of those rare conversations I&rsquo,ve had that permanently impressed itself upon my consciousness. I&rsquo,ll never forget its power &ndash, nor the extraordinary impact that being away with a group of close male friends can have, creating an atmosphere that was at once fairly savage and deeply comfortable. This trip, I realised a few months later, was the antithesis of loneliness. By then, though, I&rsquo,d moved to New York, having obtained the coveted correspondent role. My life swung violently from one pole to the other &ndash, London, surrounded very old friends, to Manhattan, surrounded by strangers. I was single and almost friendless. For the first time in my life, I was truly lonely. So lonely that I began to crave the perfunctory smile of the waitress at my local diner. Each morning, I would look forward to the familiar nod of a corner shop owner who sold me the New York Times . I also developed some strange habits. Long, nocturnal walks through the city and strange, pornographic meanderings on my laptop. At times, I took masochistic pleasure in feeling so isolated, letting the city wash over my sense of self, feeling like an extra in an Edward Hopper painting. But mostly it was just miserable. My expectations of New York &ndash, the people I&rsquo,d meet, the conversations I&rsquo,d have &ndash, were enormous. So much of the city&rsquo,s televisual myth revolves around friendships: Girls , Seinfeld , Sex and the City and, of course, Friends . But where was my devoted group of hilarious, dysfunctional pals to help me out of second gear? Human Needs. Loneliness is often compared to hunger. It's a lack of emotional sustenance, the physical pleasure of being in the company of someone who cares about you. But urban isolation is its own type of starvation, and New York is perhaps the loneliest place to be lonely. I&rsquo,d walk through SoHo or the East Village on a Saturday morning, marvelling at how busy and engaged everyone seemed to be. How did they all seem to know each other? Why didn&rsquo,t they want to know me? Loneliness feels a lot like depression, though the two are not the same. My apartment in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, overlooks the city&rsquo,s shimmering panorama. It is one of the world&rsquo,s most thrilling views &ndash, unless you are feeling lonely. Then the lights mock you, each twinkle a symbol of people connecting with one another, drinking, laughing, kissing. Everyone except me. Loneliness also feels a lot like depression, though the two are not the same. One study by the University of California, San Francisco, found that the majority of those who report feeling lonely are not clinically depressed, though there are overlaps. As for me, I had no chemical or pathological reason to be unhappy during those six months in New York. I was like a computer that had been unplugged from the internet. I just needed to reconnect. I needed friends. This sensation diminished over time. I found a girlfriend, and I made enough friends to get by. I'm happy again. But the experience got me interested in the subject of loneliness, so I began to read and write about it. I read Olivia Laing&rsquo,s The Lonely City and Sebastian Junger&rsquo,s Tribe . I delved into Karl Ove Knausgaard&rsquo,s My Struggle , through which a wide seam of loneliness and disconnection runs. I quickly realised I wasn&rsquo,t alone. Millions of others were as lonely as I had been &ndash, many of them in the largest, most thrilling cities in the world, struggling with lives of outward success and inner desperation. I also realised there was an element of my predicament that had been quite specifically male. Loneliness isn&rsquo,t gendered, but men in particular tend to struggle to express deep feelings and form meaningful connections. Many of us find it easier to talk about football or politics than to admit to suffering from a low sex drive or feeling undervalued at work. We don't know who to tell these things, or how to say them. This is why some men flock obsessively to secular evangelists such as Joe Rogan, Jordan Peterson and Sam Harris, who fill the fraternal vacuum with rigorous examinations of the male psyche and spread their gospel through podcasts and YouTube. The Boys&rsquo, Club. Men aren&rsquo,t good at talking to each other, or asking for help. This may be a cliché,, but it's true. Personally, I would rather walk around lost for half an hour than risk looking incompetent by asking for directions.
Lonely women seeking men
Lonely women looking for men